Resistance is Futile.  Or is it?

 

Yet, we resist with all our might.

We won’t sell the house, despite the financial burden.
We still don’t exercise, in spite of the health scare.
We refuse to consult this team member who now sits at a higher level.

There have been plenty times in my life where I’ve dug in my heels.  Why? To be perfectly honest, there was nothing I could pinpoint other than resistance to change.

Resistance vs. Resilience: A quick rundown

Recently, I was working with two people to help settle their differences. One was a poster child for Resistance, the other for Resilience. Their operating system beautifully illustrated key aspects of each.

Some Resistance cues: “I’m not sure why we’re here… There’s nothing really to discuss….I don’t understand this process…I don’t know what you mean…. I disagree.”

Some Resilience cues: “I’m seeking help to understand what’s going on…I want to find a solution…Let’s talk it out… There are many perspectives we can explore.”

In Resilience, you’re moving forward through the confusion and uncertainty, even if it’s uncomfortable. You’re moving toward the future, even if you don’t have all the answers.

Is there an advantage to Resistance?

Yes there is. In dealing with individual and organizational clients over the years, I’ve come to understand that we have to walk the road of Resistance to make it to the land of Resilience.

When we reach the crossroad between what’s familiar and what’s new, resistance will more than likely rear up.  At the same time, Resistance presents us with a choice to make: Stay in resistance a while longer- or – Move toward the change now.

There’s no better or worse, no right way or wrong way. Just being aware that it is your choice is already a big step forward. Bringing this choice to light may also make the prospect of change less intimidating.

Two simple clues that I’m ready to move beyond Resistance to Resilience

Luckily, I have two red flags that help me move toward the new with a little more confidence.

• At some point, I get tired of hearing myself whine.  You know that tone of voice that grates on your nerves, when you tell your Poor-Me story to everyone you know? Instead, make the choice to get still and listen for your empowered voice, the one that knows that you are stronger than you think.

• Remember, this too shall pass.  As harrowing as I think a change may be, I somehow get to the other side in one piece. Never a straight trajectory, your journey continues one step at a time. Trust its wisdom.

Next time you catch yourself defending, dramatizing, blaming, or justifying, know that you’re in Resistance… and it’s okay. Resistance is part of the journey to change.  Take a breath and remember who you are and the vision you hold for yourself.

Also remember that you’ve successfully navigated many changes before, and you will again.

Let me know how Resistance has helped you move forward. I look forward to reading your comments.