It’s easy to find internet advice on how to stay sane right now—keep a routine, make sure you exercise and meditate, cook healthy meals, go for walks. It’s all excellent advice and I’m taking it, for the most part. But the posts resonating with me the most are the ones giving all of us permission and a nudge to just be. Sure, this time is an opportunity to write a novel or finally do a hundred pushups—but it’s also an opportunity to stop thinking, stop doing. To just stop.
Productivity
Most of us have been in the rat race or the hamster wheel or whatever rodent metaphor you prefer for our entire adult lives. We’re rewarded for our productivity beyond all else, and now we’re being bombarded with messages on how to work more productivly from home. And even if we’re unable to be productive in our usual ways, some advice is to shift productivity to canning fruit or scrubbing the house top to bottom. Productivity is our norm.
But can we step back and acknowledge that we are not living in normal times? We are living in a fog. And we have a need to hold ourselves, cradle ourselves, be with ourselves, so that we can continue, one breath to the next, to be.
The connection we need
I’m so, so grateful for the ways we can connect with people we can’t touch. Connection is so important right now; but at the same time, sometimes the connection we need is with ourselves.
It’s a connection we can’t necessarily find if we’re preoccupied with work or another task. To connect with what’s way deep inside me, I might spend a whole day staring out in space and looking at the rain falling today, and the walls, and eat some soup, and be unable to do much more. And that’s all right. If I want to sleep for twelve hours, that’s all right. And if I come out the other side of it feeling no more connected to my true self than before, that’s all right too.
Honoring our grief
I want to make space for all the grief we feel right now.
We are grieving the people who are dying and the people, many more, who will die. We are grieving the loss of our businesses, the loss, perhaps, of our houses, our livelihoods, our way of life. And in order to make space for the grief, I need to take advantage of this pause and actually pause. But maybe a reminder, right? For folks to take advantage of this pause and actually pause.
The other stuff
Of course we all have other stuff. Many of us are still working in some capacity and caring for children or elders and cooking and taking care of the house. After a meltdown last week, I am going to try to give myself one day a week—I was initially thinking Sundays, but the actual day doesn’t really matter in this strange version of our world—to take off completely. Not to catch up on laundry or try a new recipe or get the deck pressure washed. I’m staying in pajamas, eating leftovers, and doing nothing at all that’s “productive.” I’m even keeping the TV off, though I know people with kids will likely find that impossible—and that’s okay! For me, I want to minimize technology and just kind of be a bump on the log with the grief, or blankness, or horror, or whatever I’m feeling move through me.
The planet sure is getting a rest right now. A long, huge savasana. It’s just breathing. And maybe we can take a lesson from that. Maybe we can try a collective savasana.
But Not if You Don’t Want To
This is what’s working for me. But if your productivity is helping you stay optimistic or you’re glad to be finally mucking out the basement, that’s perfect. I’m holding space for all our ways of being right now, even as I work towards Just Being.
Love it!!❤️
I thought this would be your type of post Margaret :-). Big virtual hug!
Dominique, your post elicited a strong response. I actually teared up! I am a public servant working long hours on the COVID-19 federal response. When I am not working, I am increasingly finding a need to turn off and disconnect completely. I finally hooked up my Bluetooth speaker and am listening to favourite tunes with a clarity I couldn’t get from my phone. I imagine myself at live concerts and festivals, immersed in the music. This is what is working for me!
Hi Donna. My heart goes out to you! Thank you very much for your service during this crisis!
So glad you are taking care of yourself in a way that brings you joy. Thanks for sharing.
Music is excellent for the soul, but apparently it also changes our brain waves in beautiful ways.
Do take care and don’t hesitate to reach out.
Hug
Dominique
“ I need to take advantage of this pause and actually pause….” Wow. That statement really resonated with me. The Chinese use two characters to represent ‘crisis’. One is danger. The other is opportunity. This ‘pause’ really is a good opportunity to focus less on the ‘to do’ list and more on reconnecting…especially with oneself. Not always easy. Thank you for the reminder.
My pleasure Karen! Thanks for the reminder about the Chinese characters for Crisis. Ancient wisdom we can all use.
Last week, I learned the hard way what happens when you engage in business as usual in a pandemic.
The blog was to remind myself and others that getting through this requires a productivity pattern interrupt + reconnecting with the very essence of who we are.
Hoping you are well. Take care!
Merci Dominique.
C’est une belle et bonne suggestion. Je dois arreter de courir sur place ou dans ma petite tête. Je prêche aux femmes de se donner une rose en prenant du temps pour elle, mais Hélas. Je vais y réfléchir.
Bonjour Violène,
Tellement vrai que les femmes se font passer en dernier. Pas facile de prendre du temps pour soi quand on a la famille à charge. Et pourtant, seul le calme nous aide à nous ressourcer.
Je dois dire que j’ai passé quelques semaines à courir sur place et aussi dans ma tête sans trop de succès! Je comprends tout à fait.
Bises