While it’s important to have the conversation we need to have with our reluctant colleague or significant other, major shifts can happen without approaching another person. How? When we first have conversations with our own self.

I call it ‘checking in’. These are the conversations that occur quietly in our own head and heart when faced with a dilemma with a certain someone at work or at home. The resulting insights can shed a bright light on the path forward like nothing else can.

5 benefits of having a conversation with yourself

Checking in with your own self and/or with a coach is the first step in any genuine conversation that can lead to powerful benefits. Let me share with you the benefits I hear most often:

1. “My mind is freed up”. Untangling the knots of emotions, thoughts, wants and needs that are clouding your judgement can help you focus solely on what is truly rubbing you the wrong way and why.
2. “I’m speaking up and staying calm at same time”: Clearly articulating the outcome you desire and being able to stay on the course of your feelings is very valuable – despite the adrenaline coursing through your body.
3. “I can step outside the situation.” As you get clear, you become more detached from the situation and yes, start breathing! Your opinions are just opinions after all. Your reality may be very different from the other person’s reality. You stop seeing your truth as the absolute truth and start appreciating other ways of seeing the impasse.
4. “I’m actually curious about the other person.”  What’s their universe like? Do you care enough to engage in a conversation with them? If you interact with this person on a regular basis, it’s just a matter of time before you need to address whatever static has occurred between you.
5. And finally, you become clear about your intention, the reason why you want to have the conversation in the first place. A coach of mine once said that the most powerful gift you can give another is the clarity of your intention. Honestly exploring your true motives can shine a surprising light on what you didn’t even know you didn’t know!

Once you’ve checked in with yourself, you’re one step closer to a successful genuine conversation.

Let me know about your experience with checking in with yourself.

For executive coaching with Dominique email Dominique@dennery.ca.

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